Partners and Doulas

Most women choose to be accompanied in childbirth by someone they love, most often their life partner, the person (or people) with whom they will share parenting duties. Being present at the birth of their child is an experience most partners look forward to.

Some partners worry that the presence of a Doula will take away from their experience of supporting the woman they love. The Doula's role is not to replace the partner, but to provide support and assistance to both the mother and the person(s) she chooses to accompany her. The Doula can provide tips on working well together, assist with recognition of the normal course of labour, help clarify medical terminology, and can remind the parents of deviations from their birth plan that may be important to them later.

Some partners wish to take an active role in the birth, serving as the advocate, interpreter and main source of physical and emotional support for the labouring woman. Others prefer to be free to engage emotionally in the birth experience without carrying the responsibility of remembering everything that was taught in prenatal classes or trying to decipher the comments of medical staff. In either situation, the Doula plays an important supporting role.

In the case of unexpected outcomes such as caesarean section, the Doula can help by explaining procedures to the partners, accompanying the mother if the partner prefers not to be present for the surgery, and providing an extra pair of hands if the mother and baby need to be separated at any time. Some parents choose to have the Doula accompany the baby to the nursery so that the partner can remain with mom; others choose to have the Doula stay with the mother while surgery is completed and she is moved into recovery so that the partner can stay with the new baby. The choice is yours. As your Doula, I'm there to support your choice.

Some partners prefer not to attend the birth. This is a choice that also deserves support. Each woman and partner need to decide for themselves what their best choice is. The Doula can help by supporting the birthing woman during labour and birth, and by taking pictures and keeping the partner updated on the mother's progress.